expression
smooth words make smooth ways; it's not what you say, it's how you say it
Proverb meaning that the way something is phrased can greatly affect the outcome or impression, even if the content is the same.
同じ頼み事でも、物は言いようで相手の反応が変わる。
Even with the same request, the response changes depending on how you phrase it.
叱るときも、物は言いようだ。言い方次第で素直に聞いてもらえる。
Even when scolding, it's how you say it. Depending on your wording, they may listen obediently.