据すえ膳ぜん食くわぬは男おとこの恥はじ

expression

it is shameful to reject a woman's advances; a man who spurns a woman's invitation is shameful

Proverb meaning that when a woman makes a clear romantic or sexual advance, it is a man's shame to refuse. The literal image is of a meal already set before someone.

See also: 据え膳 (すえぜん)

• 「据すえ膳ぜん食くわぬは男おとこの恥はじ」と言いうけど、無む理りに付つき合あう必ひつ要ようはないと思おもう。

  They say 'it's a man's shame to refuse a woman's advances,' but I don't think you have to force yourself to go along.

• 彼かれは据すえ膳ぜん食くわぬは男おとこの恥はじという言こと葉ばを真まに受うけて、後こう悔かいしたらしい。

  He took the saying 'shameful is he who spurns a woman's invitation' seriously and apparently regretted it.