ないではいられない・
A feeling is too strong to hold back, so you do it before you can stop yourself: laugh, cry, say something. "I can't help …ing".
When I saw that photo, I couldn't help laughing.
When I see someone in trouble, I can't help lending a hand.
With ず
Verb ない-form: ない → ずにはいられない する → せずにはいられない
笑わない → 笑わずにはいられない. する is せずに, never しずに. Past いられなかった, "couldn't help".
With ないで
Verb ない-form + ではいられない
笑わないではいられない. The same meaning; the ず form is more common, and a little more written.
- Before it
- Something that comes out of you: 笑う, 泣く, 言う, 思い出す. Or a craving: 買う, 食べる, 飲む.
- Said about
- Mostly your own feelings. Someone else's usually come with ようだ or らしい, or as a quote.
- Where you'll meet it
- Essays, novels, song lyrics, and conversation when feeling runs high.
てはいられない and ずにはいられない
They look alike and mean opposite things. いられない is "can't stay". After て, you can't stay doing it, so you stop. After ず or ないで, you can't stay without doing it, so you do it.
I can't go on crying forever. It's back to work tomorrow.
"Can't go on doing": the situation won't allow it. You stop crying.
However many times I watch this film, I can't help crying.
"Can't help doing": the feeling is too strong. You cry.
In use
Whenever I come here, I can't help thinking of my late grandfather.
The performance was so magnificent that I couldn't help applauding.
On a day like this, I need a drink.
Said after a rotten day.
My little sister can't see a dog without petting it, it seems.
Someone else's feeling, so らしい.
A feeling does the pushing
When a rule or the situation is doing the pushing, it is なければならない or ざるを得ない.
Not said: 会社の
(It is a company rule, so I have to wear the uniform.)
着なければならない.
Close neighbours
てはいられないN2
"Can't go on doing": usually the situation won't allow it, so you stop.
There is only an hour left until the deadline. I can't go on hesitating.
ざるを得ないN2
Circumstances force it, against your wishes: "have no choice but to". Written, and careful speech.
For family reasons, I had no choice but to leave the company I had worked at for many years.
てしまう・ちゃうN4
Everyday: it happened in spite of you, often with つい. ずにはいられない adds how strong the pull was.
We were in the middle of a meeting, and I laughed in spite of myself.
Check yourself
1Which one fits?
電車が
Choose an answer to see why.
2What does this person do?
この
Choose an answer to see why.
More sentences
When I heard that story, I couldn't help checking whether it was true.
When I read the news, I couldn't hold back my tears.
I noticed a contradiction in the explanation and couldn't help pointing it out.
In an interview, she said that whenever she sees someone in trouble, she can't help speaking to them.
Someone else's feeling, quoted.