JLPT N4Polite speechHumble and respectful

差さし上あげる・やる・いただく・くださるgive, get (in polite speech); give (to a pet or plant)

あげる, くれる and もらう each have a partner for someone above you: 差さし上あげる, くださる and いただく. The directions stay the same. やる is "give" for a pet or a plant.

out

私わたしは先せん生せいに卒そつ業ぎょうの記き念ねん品ひんを差さし上あげました。

I gave my teacher a graduation keepsake.

先せん生せいが私わたしに本ほんをくださいました。

My teacher gave me a book.

in, as "I got"

私わたしは先せん生せいから本ほんをいただきました。

I received a book from my teacher.

差さし上あげる: give

giver は + receiver に + thing を + 差さし上あげる

あげる, when the receiver is above you.

くださる: give me

giver は／が + (me に) + thing を + くださる

くれる, when the giver is above you. Polite くださいます, not くださります.

いただく: get

receiver は + giver に／から + thing を + いただく

もらう, when the giver is above you.

やる: give

giver は + pet／plant に + thing を + やる

あげる, for a pet or a plant.

The idea

Each sentence is still told from where you stand: 差さし上あげる goes out from you, くださる and いただく come in to you. What changes is the other person: a teacher, a boss, a customer, an older person you don't know well. When you speak politely about a gift to or from them, each verb gives way to its partner.

くださる or いただく?

One gift, two ways to tell it. With くださる you start from the giver. With いただく you start from yourself.

部ぶ長ちょうがお土産みやげをくださいました。

The manager gave me a souvenir.

The giver is the subject.

部ぶ長ちょうにお土産みやげをいただきました。

I got a souvenir from the manager.

You are the subject, left unsaid. The giver takes に.

Either one is polite. What goes wrong is mixing them: が belongs with くださる, and に or から with いただく.

Not said: 部ぶ長ちょうが私わたしにお土産みやげをいただきました。

(The manager gave me a souvenir.)

いただく is your own receiving. The manager's giving is くださいました.

Things people say

これ、いただいてもいいですか。

May I have this?

The polite もらってもいいですか.

領りょう収しゅう書しょをいただけますか。

Could I have a receipt?

いただけますか, "can I receive", asks for a thing politely.

先せん日じつはお土産みやげをいただいて、ありがとうございました。

Thank you for the souvenir the other day.

before eating

いただきます。

Thank you for the food.

The same verb: "I receive". いただく is also the humble word for eating and drinking.

ください, as in 水みずをください, is くださる asking: "give me".

差さし上あげる

You hear it most from shops and companies, about what they give customers. You say it to offer something, or to tell someone politely about a gift you gave.

a shop

お客きゃく様さまにカレンダーを差さし上あげています。

We are giving calendars to our customers.

よかったら、この本ほん、差さし上あげますよ。

If you like, you can have this book.

Handing over a present you brought, the usual word is still どうぞ.

Your family is on your side

As a rule, the verbs for someone above you are for people outside your family. Telling someone about a present from your own mother, it stays もらいました or くれました, however much you respect her.

この時計とけいは母ははにもらいました。

I got this watch from my mother.

Sounds odd: この時計とけいは母ははにいただきました。

I received this watch from my mother.

It raises your own mother in front of someone outside the family.

やる

やる is あげる with no politeness in it. Its everyday use is for pets and plants. Many people say あげる there too, and both are heard.

兄あには飼かい犬いぬに水みずをやりました。

My older brother gave our dog some water.

母ははは庭にわの花はなに水みずをやっています。

My mother is watering the flowers in the garden.

毎まい朝あさ、猫ねこにえさをあげます。

I feed the cat every morning.

あげる, for a pet.

To a person, やる is rough. Mostly men say it, to a close friend or about a younger brother or their own child. About someone above you it is rude.

a man to a close friend

これ、やるよ。

Here, have this.

Sounds odd: 私わたしは社しゃ長ちょうに誕たん生じょう日びプレゼントをやりました。

I gave the company president a birthday present.

Rude: it puts the president below you. 差さし上あげました.

やる is also the casual word for "do", as in 宿しゅく題だいをやる.

After a て-form

After a て-form the same verbs are about favors, not things.

先せん生せいが駅えきまで送おくってくださいました。

My teacher kindly took me to the station.

てくださる: てくれる, when the one who did it is above you.

毎まい晩ばん、犬いぬを散さん歩ぽに連つれていってやります。

I take the dog for a walk every evening.

てやる: てあげる, for a pet. To a person it is rough, as やる is.

て差さし上あげる is rarely the way to offer help. Like てあげます, it sounds as if you are handing down a favor.

Sounds odd: 先せん生せい、荷に物もつを持もって差さし上あげます。

Teacher, I'll carry your bag for you.

People say お持もちします.

Close neighbours

ていただくN4

てもらう, when the one who did it is above you. As a question, ていただけませんか, it is the careful way to ask a favor.

先せん生せいに推すい薦せん状じょうを書かいていただきました。

My teacher kindly wrote me a letter of recommendation.

お・ご～するN4

The way to say what you do for someone above you.

駅えきまでお送おくりします。

I will take you to the station.

あげる・くれる・もらうN5

The everyday three. Among friends and family they are all you need.

友ともだちがお土産みやげをくれました。

My friend gave me a souvenir.

てあげる・てくれる・てもらうN4

The everyday three after a て-form: favors, not things.

友とも達だちが空くう港こうまで迎むかえに来きてくれた。

A friend came to the airport to pick me up.

Check yourself

1Which one fits?

社しゃ長ちょうが私わたしにペンを（　　）。

Choose an answer to see why.

2Your teacher admires your bag. Which answer is natural?

Choose an answer to see why.

3Which one fits?

毎まい日にち、庭にわの木きに水みずを（　　）。

Choose an answer to see why.

More detail

With friends, about your teacher

Chatting with a friend, plenty of people say 先せん生せいにもらった. いただく and the others are for when you speak politely: to the person, at work, in a message.

くださった, くださって

The past and the て-form of くださる are regular.

これは先せん生せいがくださった本ほんです。

This is the book my teacher gave me.

Written 下くださる・頂いただく

In letters and email you will also see them in kanji. They are the same words.

More sentences

先せん生せいが私わたしに辞じ書しょをくださいました。

My teacher gave me a dictionary.

私わたしは茶さ道どうの先せん生せいから古ふるい茶ちゃ碗わんをいただきました。

I received an old tea bowl from my tea-ceremony teacher.

社しゃ長ちょうが新しん入にゅう社しゃ員いんの私わたしに名めい刺し入いれをくださいました。

I was a new recruit, and the company president gave me a business-card holder.

私わたしは館かん長ちょうから招しょう待たい券けんをいただきました。

I received a complimentary ticket from the director.

私わたしは来らい賓ひんの方かたに記き念ねん品ひんを差さし上あげました。

I presented a commemorative gift to the guest of honor.

Compared with similar forms

Keigo: respectful and humble Japanese