ていただく・
ていただく is てもらう for someone above you: a teacher, a boss or a customer did something for you. As a question, ていただけませんか, it is the careful way to ask a favor.
a favor you received
My teacher kindly wrote me a letter of recommendation.
asking for one
Excuse me, could you tell me the way to the station?
A favor you received
(doer に) + Verb in the て-form + いただく
Polite いただきます, past いただきました.
Asking for one
Verb in the て-form + いただけませんか
いただけ, with け, is the "can" form of いただく.
てもらう, with respect
It works exactly as てもらう does: you are the subject, usually unsaid, and the one who does it takes に.
I had my professor look over my manuscript.
Everyday. Fine when you tell a friend.
My professor was kind enough to look over my manuscript.
Shows respect for the professor, for when you speak politely.
People say it about a stranger or staff who helped them too.
The receptionist kindly showed me to the venue.
Your own family is on your side, so a favor from your mother stays てもらいました.
The other person does it
いただく is receiving, so the verb before it is what the other person does. It is not a polite ending for your own actions.
At tomorrow's meeting, we'll have the department manager explain first.
Not said: 私が
(I will explain.)
私が説明します.
Asking a favor: ていただけませんか
It asks whether you could have the favor, so the other person is free to say no. That makes it right for a teacher, a boss or a stranger, where てください would be telling them. People open with すみません.
Could you explain this sentence one more time?
Excuse me, could you take a photo?
Not said: すみません、
(Excuse me, could you take a photo?)
It has to be いただけ.
In English "couldn't you…?" sounds impatient. In Japanese the negative makes a request softer. いただけますか asks the same thing a little more directly.
Could you read this material first?
Saying thank you
To someone above you, てくれてありがとう becomes ていただいて、ありがとうございます.
Thank you very much for taking me to the station.
送ってくださって is just as good.
ていただく or てくださる?
The same favor, starting from the one who did it, is てくださる: the respectful てくれる.
I had my teacher correct my essay.
You are the subject. The teacher takes に.
My teacher corrected my essay for me.
The teacher is the subject.
Either one is polite. What goes wrong is mixing them: が with いただく.
Close neighbours
てもらうN4
The everyday one: a friend, your grandmother, the hairdresser.
My grandmother taught me how to put on a kimono.
The same kind of question, between friends.
Could you pick up some bread on your way back?
お・ご～いただくN3
A stiffer version, from staff and in business email.
I'm sorry to trouble you, but could you check the application form?
させていただくN3
With させて, you are the one who does it, with the other person's leave.
Today I will be giving the explanation in place of the person in charge.
With no て-form in front: a present from someone above you.
I got a souvenir from the manager.
Check yourself
1You stop a stranger in the street. Which one fits?
すみません、
Choose an answer to see why.
2What does this mean?
部長に
Choose an answer to see why.
More detail
Softer still
For a big favor or a formal message, ていただけないでしょうか is softer again.
Would it be possible for you to write me a letter of recommendation?
A request with no question
In email, people often say how much it would help.
It would be helpful if you could read this report when you have time.
More sentences
The person in charge kindly explained the steps to me in detail.
After my professor kindly explained it once more, I finally understood.
I'm having my professor look over my research plan next week.
I'm sorry to trouble you, but could you close this window?
Would you be able to extend the deadline by one day?
Excuse me, could you explain how to fill out this application form?